If only I didn't have a computer

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 23:08:55 GMT

New home...Check

Shitty Christmas...Check

Another semester of going nowhere...Check

Empty bank account...Check

And all with a BIG SMILE!!!

WHO? WHAT? ok.

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 19:53:01 GMT

Happy day.

Just nod if you can hear me

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 21:03:57 GMT

Hello? Is there anybody in here?

Life is good.

Living on my own is good.

Work is good...sometimes.

I seem to be stuck with everything at the moment. For a while there, I couldn't hold on to a friend or a boyfriend or a job for the life of me. Now that's all I've got.

And you? It's been a while.

Ok, stop reading now.

Ashes to ashes, there's dust on the dash

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 01:17:48 GMT

Dog Problems is so fucking beautiful, it makes me wanna cry.

Is it just me, or does MySpace kinda seem like a cult?...ok, maybe it's just me.

Have a nice trip, see you next sprain!

Wed, 03 May 2006 03:48:24 GMT

RANDOM PERSON BIO!
NAME: Luke
JOB: Server
PROBLEM: He's an alcoholic

I met LUke a few months ago when he came to work at Red Robin. Nice guy, once you get to know him, but it was hard for a lot of my co-workers to get used to the fact that he simply drank too much. He doesn't have a car and uses public transportation, so I began offering him rides to and from work. Naturally, we became buddies. One night, while partying in Vegas with some friends, Luke fell and broke his leg pretty bad. He couldn't come to work, and as a result, like his leg, he was broke and had plenty of doctor's bills and rent and all that jazz to pay for. I decided we needed to do something for him, so I tried to collect money from people at work, but wouldn't you know, nobody wants to give money to some crazy ol' drunk. I scraped up enough money to at least buy the guy some groceries, which he very much appreciated, but I just didn't understand why people were so against helping him. The doctors say he needs surgery, but he can't afford it, so he had to go back to work. He limps around like the gimp he now is and actually waits tables on his broken leg. It will probably never heal right, but he doesn't complain. Still I hear people say things like, "It was his own fault." and "I don't feel bad for him, he deserved it." and "He was probably drunk when it happened." My opinion: he's a real trooper!

Sorry, I was really bored...

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:37:37 GMT

Hello and welcome to another addition of Amber's LJ. Thank you for joining me! Boy, do I have an entry for you! But first, let's go to Amber with her eye in the sky...Amber?

Thanks Amber, it's another beautiful day! But watch out for 83rd and Union. Looks like there are several road blocks in the area that could be causing some major stand-still traffic. I'm not sure what exactaly the construction workers think they're doing, but they made me late for school this morning, and they'll do it to you to! Back to you, Amber.

Thanks Amber! Now let's look at the weather today with our own weather gal, Amber!

Thanks Amber. The high for today reached a confusing, "do I wear a jacket or not?" and the low will probably sound a little bit like me complaining that it's really fucking cold. Back to you, Amber.

Thanks Amber! Well, that's all the time we have for this week! Join us next week when we count the number of times pot heads use the word "fuck" without any content whatsoever. Also, my English teacher, Amanda, will be discussing her struggle with salivary gland blockage. That and more, next week, on Amber's LJ!

There's no combination of words I can put on the back of a postcard

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 02:36:04 GMT

Warning: You may never see me again.
Reason: I don't like you

Change of events: I'm not moving to Ohio
Reason: I finally met someone with whom I might be able to form a relationship

Note: If I DO like you, (which is highly unlikely) you are invited to my apartment when I move in
Reason: I want to boast

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 20:46:15 GMT

The bodies of Danielle, Donna and Richard Romero were finally found after four years. RIP.

When you stop and smell the roses, you get pricked.

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 17:58:00 GMT

I have never been so drunk in my life. I've never had a worse hangover in my life.

Happy Halloween. Happy birthday to me. I made eggs to celebrate.

The beach was great. The strippers were better.

Ok, stop reading now.

Midgets fit perfectly in Mini Coopers

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 21:01:53 GMT

I finally saw the episode of SNL where Ashely Simpson lip syncs. I don't know what all the fuss was about.

All I want to do is lay on the beach with a cold beer and a good book. I'm sick of commuting and poluting. All we need is love...and stuff...

College would be a lot better if it was done right. I seem to be going to way more classes than parties. Whatev.

Today's forecast is partly excited with a 30% chance of me getting my hopes up.
Back to you, John.

Little ghost, little ghost, one I'm scared of the most

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 23:45:52 GMT

I've managed to:

*make my costume sexy
*save up a small amount of cash for Mexico
*fill another box and label it "Amber's crap"
*confuse myself about moving (among other things)
*almost be old enough to be a server
*fuck up

Halloween is the most wonderful holiday ever. Whoever invented Tootsie Rolls, I could just kiss.

You make me sick.

Lift up your toes in my mouth and we can make love

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 18:34:14 GMT

The LJ world is starting to bore me. I think we should see other people. It's not you, it's me. Please don't cry; it'll only make things harder for the both of us.

I'm going to the fair today! I'm looking forward to the delicious food and neat stuff, like rides and really big stuffed animals.

Mold grosses me out. I can clean up cat puke and handle dirty dishes, but mold is the pits.

Ok, stop reading now.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 22:04:18 GMT

I'm supposed to write an essay on the word of my choice. First I'm supposed to interview people. Who better to interview then my LJ friends!?!? So answer seriously because I may or may not put your quote in my essay. But don't answer too seriously, because I'm trying to avoid making this really lame and cheesy.

Who is your best friend and how did that person become your best friend?

What makes your friendship with so-and-so different from others?

What's something that you can remember that always makes you think of so-and-so?

Has so-and-so ever let you down?

I guess that's all I got. Be funny and creative and negative!!!

You know, for kids.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 22:21:52 GMT

Everything is so pulchritudinous. It's like seeing the empyrean for the first time. (God, I love thesauruses)

According to Unsolved Mysteries, Elvis had a twin brother who died at birth. Who knew?

Happy birthday.

For the record, the weather today is partly satisfied with a 20 percent chance of kicking someone's ass.

Back to you, Dave.

"Reason for request?" "I'm going to the symphony!!!"

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 04:07:26 GMT

I can't stand Rockabilly.
On Sundays, I clean my boyfriend's house.
I talk out loud when I'm doing my math homework.

Hamburgers or hot dogs?
Coffee or tea?
Blondes or an anvil chorus?

Sod off.

Beatniks are out to make it rich

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 21:35:33 GMT

Reasons I love October

* Halloween!!!
* costumes
* candy
* everything temporarily changing colors to orange and black. EXAMPLE: pudding cups
* cheesy haunted houses
* Going to pumpkin patches
* Carving pumpkins
* Perfect weather
* pretty foliage
* My birthday
* Cool sayings like 'Rocktober'
* The State Fair

Ok, stop reading now.

stirring up trouble

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 17:53:14 GMT

I started reading my Journal comments and stopped about 1/4 of the way through. I was like "Wow! 22 comments! I didn't know people liked David Sadaris so much!!!" Alas, no one cares at all. There's just some new anonymous person stirring up trouble.

So I deleted it. Next time it happens, everyone do me a favor and just IGNORE him.

Words to live by:

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 22:34:14 GMT

"This isn't cereal, it's a bowl full of milkless air!"

"Angels are God's way of saying howdy."

"Thanks for asking, but I'm not really into white guys right now."

"When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy."

Which did you like better?

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 09:09:04 GMT

I totally want a pair of {enter expensive brand name sunglasses here}

There's nothing better than {enter sexual fantasy here}

I fucking hate {enter political party here}

I would love to touch your {enter body part here}

And then you die.

If I'm not tortured how are you ever going to relate?

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 00:21:21 GMT

Rumor has it there's a party at Riki's this Saturday. I say we make it a "kick Riki's roommate in the balls" party. We can tie him up and charge people $2 to kick him in his dirty little huevos. I would totally pay $2 for that.

All proceeds go to helping make sure Riki can still reproduce.

I'm out.

Boy it's unprincipled in here.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 08:24:43 GMT

Every time you shave your genitals, God kills a puppy.

We've planed a trip to mexico on the last weekend of October, which just happens to be the weekend of my birthday. Rachel: you're invited, so request the days off now. The rest of you: Fuck off.

sexed, sex·ing, sex·es - To arouse sexually. Often used with up.
EXAMPLE - You have sexed me up.
You are sexing me up.
He sexes me up.

{enter all the times you will disappoint me here}

...And the beat goes on...

Compiled by me:

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 23:42:57 GMT

A list of the people Amber has always had a crush on: (in no particular order)

The stoner in Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Macaulay Culkin's character in Saved
Eric from the Little Mermaid
Donnie Darko (AKA Jake Gyllenhaal)
Maggie Gyllenhall's characters in Donnie Darko and The Secretary
Jimmy Stuart
Donnie from the Big Lebowski
Ed from the show Ed
Harry Potter
Oliver Wood in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, the movie
The Irish guy who was in the first couple of episodes of Angel
Edward Norton and every character he's ever played in any movie
Lance Bass from NSYNC
Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (the book)
Randal from Clerks

Ok, that's it.

For Whitney: a location that's intriguing structurally.

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 21:05:12 GMT

This is the English department's building at Wittenburg University where I'll be spending most of my time next year.

You're so pretty when you're faithful to me!

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 01:14:39 GMT

I'm really trying hard to tie some aspect of the Simpsons to my life every day. Mostly, I fail. But my "better half" has my back.

Things Chuck Palahniuk has taught me:
1) YOu can clean the wax out of your ears by sticking a rolled up piece of paper in each ear, and burning it.
2) You can kill someone by giving them a foot massage
3) People are really fucked up

If I knew the culling song, I would use it on every asshole still driving a fucking Hummer.

Alright already.

"You want a cookie?" "Yes, actually, I do."

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 23:46:34 GMT

{enter conversation about school here}

{enter conversation about work here}

{enter conversation about boyfriend, Ohio, the weekend, and drugs here}

Hope you all feel a little better informed about my life.